Daddy Issues
by Agent Gibbs
Summary: Tony is about to be a father. He wants to be there, but Gibbs sent him, McGeek, & Cooper to... EDENVALE. Set about 8 months after the end of my "What If?" episode.
1. Back to the Boondocks

Saturday, March 28, 2015. 0530 hours, Washington, D.C.

NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo was on edge. The reason: he was going to be a father any day, and NCIS Director Leroy Jethro Gibbs was sending Tony and two other agents to Edenvale. That meant one thing: Boondocks.

They were investigating three dead Navy officers, a dead Marine, and the smoldering wreckage of a Navy Prototype Fighter Jet, the McDonnell Douglas F-15N-PHX "Sea Eagle" capable of carrying the Phoenix Air-to-air Missile.

Needless to say, Tony was not thrilled. His bad mood got worse on the way to Edenvale because the other agents on his team, Timothy (No Middle Name) McGee and Doug Cooper, were engaged in the "dueling banjo" sequence from "Deliverance." That was, until Tony pulled over and head-slapped both of them.

"Shut it," he growled.

They continued the drive from DC to the boondocks with only the radio on and Tony's hourly outbursts about getting no news from his wife, Ziva.

"You know, Tony," McGee said, "no news is good news."

"McGee, unless the next words out of your mouth are 'Tony, we don't have to go to Edenvale,' SHUT UP!" Tony snapped.


	2. Setting Up Shop

Before Tony's mood got worse, the three agents arrived at the Edenvale Sheriff's Office. The first man they saw was Deputy Tyler Barrett, the Sheriff's brother. Tony and McGee hated him with a passion. Tony's mood hit a new low.

"Hello, Deputy," McGee said.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" Deputy Barrett snapped.

"Well, it has to do with three dead Navy officers, a dead Marine, and the smoldering wreckage of a Navy Prototype Fighter Jet, the McDonnell Douglas F-15N-PHX 'Sea Eagle' capable of carrying the Phoenix Air-to-air Missile," Tony replied.

Deputy Barrett noticed Ziva wasn't with them. He took a cheap shot at her, since she couldn't kill him this time. "Well, where's that little Arab girl of yours? You finally lock her up in Gitmo?"

"Deputy," Tony said, removing his sunglasses and approaching Deputy Barrett, "if you value being able to talk, I suggest you shut up before I rip out your vocal cords with a credit card and a pair of rusty pliers."

"Who pissed in your Cornflakes?" The Deputy snapped back.

"Well, you insulted the woman that I married and is carrying my child. Not to mention the fact that I could be a father at any moment. I guess you did. McGee, Cooper, inside." Tony, Cooper & McGee moved to go in the station, but Deputy Barrett stopped them.

"Whoa. You guys ain't going inside without my say-so."

"You should yank out your Boondock PD Manual and re-check the pecking order around here," Tony snarled. "Cooper! What happened here?"

"Navy plane crashes, four people that work for the Department of the Navy die. Hmm, it seems like NCIS has jurisdiction," Cooper replied.

"Thank you Cooper," Tony said. "So, Deputy, we can arrest you for interfering with a federal investigation, or you can get out of our way."

Not wanting to be arrested, Deputy Barrett stepped aside, and the Three Stooges entered the police station.

"Can I help you, gentlemen?" A deputy at the front desk asked them.

"NCIS Agents DiNozzo, McGee and Cooper here to see the Sheriff."

"I never thought I'd see NCIS in this town again," a voice said from behind the Three Stooges.

Tony wheeled around. "Sheriff Barrett. I noticed you got the welcome wagon out front for us. Your brother is still a jackass."

"Agent DiNozzo and Agent McGee, it's good to see you. Who's the new guy?"

"Agent Cooper, Sheriff Tom Barrett. That jack-hole out front is his brother."

"Good to meet you, Cooper. I expected to see Gibbs here. Did he retire?"

"No. He's Director of NCIS, and he wants to be kept in the loop, so expect frequent calls from him."

"Okay. And what about Officer David? Is she still with you?"

"AGENT David and I got married last June, and I'm going to be a father any day now, so you'll excuse me if I want to wrap this up quick and get home."

"Oh, no problem."

"Where'd the plane crash?"

"The plane crashed at the motel. You know the one."

"Yeah. And the bodies?"

"Three of them, the Marine and two of the Navy guys, were in the motel. The other guy was flying the plane."

"Where are they?"

"Waiting for your guys in the morgue. Nobody touched 'em."

"Evidence?"

"The electronics are too advanced for our computers. It burned out the power to the police station twice." The lights went out again. "Three times."

"Sheriff, perhaps you could tell your Forensics team to STOP trying to crack the pilot's log and any other electronic data."

"Why?"

"It's all classified. As in Top Secret. As in, if they see it, we have to kill them."

"I thought that was a joke."

"_Top Gun_, 1986. Of course it's a joke. Tom Cruise said the same thing to Kelly McGillis. Now, Crime scene. McGee, Cooper, go. McGee, you drive."

"What are you doing, Tony?" McGee asked. Head-slap.

"I'm gonna make sure the Forensics lab doesn't try to crack that code again. And I need to brief Gibbs and SECNAV. Sheriff, when our Medical Examiner arrives, point him to the morgue."

"Okay, Agent DiNozzo."

"You got an office around here? I don't want to be overheard. National security reasons."

"The conference room down the hall there. That should give you a good measure of privacy."

"Thank you."


	3. A Briefing and an Exodus

Tony walked into the conference room and set up his laptop for his Skype chat with Gibbs and SECNAV. After he had set up his laptop, he took out his phone and called Ziva.

"_Hello._" She sounded agitated.

"Hey, Zee. You doing okay?"

"_I am fine, Tony. But I do not think that I will be fine much longer._"

"What happened?" Tony seemed to be starting to panic.

"_I think I am in labor, Tony. I need you here._"

"I'll be home as soon as I can Ziva. I just need to wrap this case up and-"

"_DiNozzo, Cooper and McGee can handle the crash site. Hitch a ride back with Ducky and Palmer._" The video call had started.

"Gotta go, Zee. I'll be home ASAP. Love you." Tony hung up his phone and turned to his laptop. "Director. Mister Secretary."

"_Agent DiNozzo,_" SECNAV said. "_What's the status?_"

"Well, Agents McGee and Cooper are investigating the crash, Doctor Mallard should be here soon for the bodies, and I got the sheriff to get his Forensics team to stop trying to crack our codes."

"_DiNozzo, I got a call from Ziva before we started our conversation. She said that she was going into labor. You need to get back to Washington. Let McGee and Cooper finish up there._" Gibbs ordered.

"How do you suppose I get back, Director?"

"_Hitch a ride with Doctor Mallard when he leaves._"

"_Out of the question, Director Gibbs. DiNozzo is to stay in Edenvale until this investigation is concluded,_" SECNAV ordered.

"Mister Secretary, McGee and Cooper are more than capable of handling this. Besides, Cooper was an MP before he joined NCIS. They'll be fine."

"_You better hope so, DiNozzo. Because if this goes wrong, you're number one on the Agent Afloat list._" SECNAV cut out of the call, leaving Gibbs and Tony to talk NCIS business.

"_DiNozzo, when I talked to Ziva, she didn't sound too good. I'm heading over to your place right now. You need to get your ass back here NOW!_"

"On my way yesterday, Director!" Gibbs cut his feed to Tony's laptop, and Tony packed his gear and peeled out of the conference room, almost knocking Ducky over.

"Hello, Anthony," Ducky said.

"Ducky, I'm heading back with you and Palmer. Gibbs' orders."

"Okay, but if I may ask why-"

"Ziva. She's going into labor, and she didn't sound too good when I called her a little bit ago."

"Well, then, why are we still standing here? Let's go! Mister Palmer, Agent DiNozzo will be heading back with us."

As soon as Ducky and Palmer had loaded the four bodies, Tony joined them, saying, "I'm driving." Going back to DC wasn't fun.


	4. Shot Down

Back at NCIS, Tony left Ducky and Palmer to their work and ran to his car, running every red light and stop sign between the Navy Yard and his house.

When Tony got home, he saw Gibbs leaving. He ran up to Gibbs, but before he could say anything, Gibbs said, "Tony, get to Monroe University Hospital."

"How's Ziva?"

"She'll be fine, Tony. Oh, and Eli David is on his way here from Tel Aviv, and your father is on his way here from Long Island. Just thought I should warn you."

"Thanks a lot, Gibbs." Tony hopped back in his car and sped off for Monroe University.

Meanwhile, back in Edenvale...

Cooper and McGee had stumbled across something bigger than the Navy or NCIS. McGee spotted it.

"Cooper."

"Yeah?"

"Get over here."

Cooper walked over to where McGee was standing. "McGee, what are you staring at?"

"Look at the burn pattern between the engines."

"Holy shit, McGee. You think this thing was shot down?"

"I don't know. But I better tell Tony what we found."


	5. Gibbs Goes Back

McGee pulled out his phone and called Tony, who was just getting to the hospital. He sounded upset when he answered his phone.

"_McGee, this better be important._"

"Tony, either you or Gibbs needs to get to Edenvale. And we'll need a flatbed to haul the wreckage back to DC."

"_What happened?_"

"We think that the F-15 might have been shot down. This just got bigger than NCIS or the Navy."

"_Son of a bitch. Call Gibbs and SECNAV; let them know what you found. Good work, McGee._" Click.

McGee called Gibbs, who was briefing SECNAV in his office.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"_Director, we have a new problem with the F-15. It might've been shot down. But all we know for sure is that it did not crash._"

"That's just great, McGee. SECNAV is here, so tell him what you just told me."

Gibbs put the phone on speaker, and SECNAV said, "Go ahead, Agent McGee."

"_Mister Secretary, Agent Cooper and I were inspecting the wreckage of the Sea Eagle, and we stumbled across a slight problem._"

"What would that be?"

"_We looked at the wreckage, and it appears that the F-15 was shot down. We can't verify it yet, but all we know is that it didn't crash because of the pilot._"

"McGee, I'm on my way to Edenvale. You keep a lid in this until I get there," Gibbs ordered. Click.

"Director, if you're going to Edenvale, you should try out that new mobile Forensic lab. And you're bringing your Forensics expert with you."

"Fine with me."

"Uh, Gibbs, I would have expected news like this from DiNozzo, not McGee. I guess what I'm trying to say is... Why didn't DiNozzo give you this news?"

"He had to come back to Washington. He's at the Monroe University Medical Center."

"May I ask why?"

"His wife is about to have their first child."

"Oh. Well, my congratulations to them. Get to Edenvale, Gibbs. They're waiting."


	6. Now a Murder Investigation

Back in Edenvale, the Barrett Brothers were hounding McGee and Cooper about the wreckage.

After threatening both brothers several times with arrest (Deputy Barrett more than Sheriff Barrett) for interfering in a Federal Investigation, they were finally able to get some work done.

"Cooper, get a shot of the burn pattern," McGee said, "I want thorough shots from every angle of this plane, and I want it done before Gibbs gets here."

"Okay. Wait, Gibbs is on his way here?"

"Did I stutter, Probie?" McGee answered. "Yes, Director Gibbs is on his way here."

"Great. Well," Cooper said, changing the subject, "who do you think is gonna win the pool?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. But I do know that Ziva will kill the people that created the pool. In other words, we are both screwed."

"You dragged me into it, McGee. I told you I wanted no part of it, but now I guess I have to see it through."

"Duh."

Thirty minutes later, Cooper had finally taken pictures from every angle he could, taking the last ones as Gibbs pulled up, in an eighteen-wheel Forensics lab. Abby was with him, of course.

"Hey. Fill me in." Gibbs ordered.

"Well, Director," McGee said, "I think that this aircraft was definitely shot down."

"Ya think, McGee? Tell me something I don't know."

"There's a pool going around the office betting on Tony and Ziva's baby." Smack.

"I know. I bet on twins." Gibbs checked his watch. "36 hours from now."

"Well, Director, judging from the burn markings, the projectile that shot down this aircraft was homemade, **not** military issue," Cooper said, wanting to get back to business.

"What the hell are we dealing with?"

"Boondock bias against the military."

"McGee, Cooper, this is now a murder investigation. EVERYBODY in Edenvale is a suspect. Start with that damn Sheriff's Department."

"Who should we start with?" Cooper asked. Smack.

"Start with those damn Barrett Brothers." Gibbs ordered. "Cooper, you take the Sheriff. I'll deal with the other one."

"Director, I think it's fair to warn you, Deputy Barrett crossed Tony when we first got here, and he might still be in a bad mood," McGee said.

"What happened?"

"He asked Tony if we had locked Ziva in Gitmo yet, and Tony threatened to cut out the deputy's vocal cords with a credit card and a pair of rusty pliers."

"That sounds like a Ziva threat."

"She used it on Cooper last week."

"Oh, yeah. Well, let's get to work. McGee, you and Abby are working out of this truck, mainly on the electronics from the jet. Get this back to the Sheriff's Office parking lot. I'll be checking in regularly."

"Understood," McGee said.


	7. Eli's Bet

Back in Washington, Tony was pacing back and forth so much that a small groove was beginning to appear in the floor where he was pacing. To make matters worse, Ziva's doctor told Tony he couldn't see her for a few hours.

"Well, can you at least tell me how she's doing?" Tony asked.

"She'll be fine. She kept threatening to kill the nurses, so we had to sedate her."

"Doc, if anything happens to my wife or our child, bear this in mind: I can kill you a thousand different ways and not leave a trace."

"Dually noted." The doctor walked away as Eli David showed up.

"Didn't expect to see you here so quickly, Eli," Tony said.

"Well, that is the good thing about being Mossad Director. Fast planes are everywhere," Eli replied. "How is Ziva?"

"Apparently, she threatened to kill a couple of nurses, so they sedated her. The doctor said she'll be fine."

Eli laughed when Tony said that. "Yes. She has always hated hospitals."

"I know. She told me over a thousand times."

"Haha. So, are you having a son or daughter?"

"Not telling. There's a pool going around the office; even Gibbs is in on it. The buy-in is fifty bucks."

"Who do I contact?"

"McGee. As a matter of fact-" Tony pulled out his phone and called McGee.

"_McGee._"

"I got another contestant for your pool, Probie."

"_Who?_"

Tony handed his phone to Eli. "Hello, Agent McGee. Put me down for fifty. Son in 24 hours."

"_Okay. Name?_"

"Eli David." Click.


	8. Arresting the Brothers

Back in Edenvale, McGee's face turned whiter than his socks when he heard Eli David on the other end of the line.

Gibbs walked into the NCIS Mobile Forensics Lab saying, "Talk to me, McGee. HEY!" The head-slap from Gibbs brought McGee back around.

"Sorry, boss. Eli David just bought into the pool."

"Yeah? What's his bet?"

"Fifty bucks, son, 24 hours."

"Back to business, McGee. What do you got?"

"Actually, Abby found it."

"What did you find, Abs?"

"I got prints off the missile that shot down the F-15."

"Whose prints Abby?"

"Deputy Tyler Barrett and Sheriff Thomas Barrett."

"Cooper's alone with both of them. McGee, let's go!"

"On your six, boss!"

Gibbs and McGee ran out of the trailer into the police station, where Cooper was in a shootout with the Barrett Brothers. And he had already disabled both of them before Gibbs or McGee could get their SIGs past their waists.

"Thomas and Tyler Barrett, you are under arrest for murder, espionage, destruction of Military Property, interfering with a Federal Investigation, and terrorism," Gibbs said.

"We have rights! Read us our rights!" Ex-Sheriff Barrett was yelling at Gibbs.

"You blew up a US fighter jet and killed four servicemen. You understand that, being charged with terrorism on American Soil, you will be going to Guantanamo Bay. Cuba. McGee, Cooper, get these guys outta here."

Cooper & McGee cuffed the brothers and escorted them out.


	9. Twins

Washington, D.C., 30 hours later. Palmer, Cooper, & McGee all lost their bets in the pool. The next group to lose in the pool was Ducky, Abby, & Eli. Tony was in Ziva's room with the doctor, and once again, Ziva was threatening to kill any nurse that came near her with a needle.

"Happy place, Ziva. Happy place." Tony was trying to calm her down. It was working, barely. That was because the doctor kept telling her to push. Ziva grabbed and broke Tony's hand.

Their son was born first. The doctor told Ziva to give one more push, and Tony turned, offering his other hand to be broken. That didn't happen. Their daughter was born five minutes later. Tony looked at the clock on the wall. Gibbs won the pool.

Tony looked at Ziva, then at their children. He couldn't stop smiling the whole time.

After the doctor left to give Ziva and Tony some privacy, she looked at him and said, "Tony, if you ever put me through this again, I will kill you where you stand."

Tony chuckled. "You know you love me."

"True. So, what are we going to name them?"

"How about Ari Michael and Tali Caitlyn DiNozzo? I don't think anybody'll mind."

"Perfect. Who won the pool?"

Before Tony could answer, they were overrun by their NCIS Family, Eli, and Tony, Sr. They all wanted to know the same thing: Who won?

"QUIET!" Tony yelled. After everyone settled down, Tony continued. "Gibbs won the pool. Congratulations, Jethro. Now, I would like to introduce you to the newest members of the DiNozzo family: Ari Michael DiNozzo and Tali Caitlyn DiNozzo. Who's got the cigars?"

Gibbs pulled the cigars out of his jacket and, one by one, everyone but Ziva was kicked out by the doctor. She looked at Ari and Tali, and she knew that she had made the right choice marrying Tony. Her life was complete.


	10. Epilogue 18 Years Later

_Eighteen Years Later..._

High School graduation came rather quickly that year. And with it, came many changes. Tony was Director of NCIS and Ziva retired. Tali was dating Timothy (No Middle Name) McGee, Junior, and Ari had taken a page from his father's book and hooked up with a foreign exchange student from Israel.

At Ari and Tali's graduation ceremony, Tony and Ziva were proud. Ari was joining the Marine Corps, and Tali was "grandfathered in" at NCIS.

"You know, Zee, if Gibbs was here, he'd be proud. Ari's off to the Marines and Tali's joining NCIS. I'd say we did pretty good." Someone head-slapped Tony.

"Ya think, DiNozzo?" It was Gibbs. "I may have retired back to Mexico, but I was not missing this."

"Ari Michael DiNozzo. Tali Caitlyn DiNozzo." The rest of the names were drowned out by an immense ovation for Tali and Ari, who both waved to their parents and friends.

It's hard to believe, but Tony and Ziva had known each other for about 30 years, and they were married now for almost 20 of them.

It just goes to show that, sometimes, the one you're meant to be with is right in front of your face the entire time.


End file.
